is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
