so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
