words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
