we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
