Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
