best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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