after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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