i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
