Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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