I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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