I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
