Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
