He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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