my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How external is "for external use only"?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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