i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
