Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
