What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
