yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
