what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
