How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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