i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Actions speak louder than pants.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize