There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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