Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
