i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
