How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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