So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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