Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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