Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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