Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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