My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
