Who wears a wallet chain?!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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