if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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