just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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