i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
