Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize
