Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
