I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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