I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
