We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
