he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
