Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
