Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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