I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
