you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
