just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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