They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
