In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
