Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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