So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
