i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
