next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize