she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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