I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
