gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
