He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
