Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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