I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
