no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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