Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
