I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
