just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize