Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
