And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Randomize
