I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
