i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Terrible idea I love it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
