i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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