i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
