Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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