Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
